Grief And Loss: The Importance of Slowing Down To Heal


Today we are talking about the gifts you can give yourself, to help you heal, as you travel through grief, loss, and change.

This past week I lost a dear cat of mine.  I had shared my life with her for sixteen years and traveling through the process of saying goodbye to her has reminded me how important it is to slow down during moments of grief and loss, so that we can recover, so that we can heal.

Loss can occur in a variety of ways.  It can be a person, a friend or a family member. It can be a pet.  It can even be a loss of a sense of self or a change in health. From being someone who’s well and fit to someone who is diagnosed with a chronic or life-threatening health condition.  It can be that someone who felt happy and joyful now feels sad and depressed or anxious.  Change and loss can be hard.  It can be exhausting. It can take a lot of energy.

This experience was devastating.  I have experienced loss before, and I’ve been able to deal with it, and heal from it.  But this one hit home hard.  The exhaustion was overwhelming, and I didn’t want to get up and do anything, and of course with two young children at home that’s impossible.  So I taught a NIA class and then I took my daughter out.  We spent a day getting pedicures, having lunch, enjoying crafts, doing things that would feed us and our spirit and nurture us.  I went to the office the following day and I still just couldn’t think clearly. I couldn’t really focus for long, and so I just did little things.  They didn’t require a lot of brainpower but enabled me to feel like I was still doing something.  I didn’t want to spend the day just sitting on a couch.

It only took a little effort to decorate my office a little bit more, so I put up a water fountain, and some pictures.  I responded to couple emails but I wasn’t worried about responding to everything.  I just needed some downtime, and at one point I just laid on the couch and I watched a tv show.  And then I started doing some research on kittens and talked to a dear friend. And of course the next day we adopted two kittens!!!!

But, kitten adventures aside, this process has really just reminded me that you need to find something that feeds your soul during times of grief and loss, and give yourself the ability to say no to things that aren’t important.  People are always going to want something from you and you have to choose, you have to say “is that really necessary right now?  It can wait.”

And yes, I’m sorry if you’re a friend of mine or a client and I’ve been less responsive than you might usually expect, but this is what I needed to do in order to heal.

So what I want to tell you is this – if you’re going through that place of change in your life, travelling through grief in one shape or form, give yourself a space to love, and a space to heal, and find something that feeds your soul.  It could be going for a hike, it could be reading a book, it could be dancing, it could be drawing.  Or, and this is not a requirement, it could be getting two kittens!!!

So…  do you want to meet them? Check out the video above if you would like to see Drax and Mia in action.

Here they are, fast asleep after racing around the house climbing on everything and chasing each other’s tails!

I have got to tell you – kittens, they know how to play hard, and they know how to cuddle, and they also know how to rest.  And sometimes we just need that rest.   They are so playful and lovely, and the whole family has just gotten some great, great therapy.  So if you need a little kitten therapy, you know you can go ahead and just message me.  Come over and get some love from these guys!  Just remember, you are not required to get a kitten during moments of grief!

This has really helped us in our own healing process. I’d love it if you would share with me what you love, what feeds your soul, what gives you healing.

Thank you for visiting my blog, and I hope you have a fabulous day.

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2 thoughts on “Grief And Loss: The Importance of Slowing Down To Heal”

  1. Thank you for your insight Pauline! A very good reminder to take the time to feed your soul, rest and heal. Spending time with my horse Enrique is my happy place. Being with him takes me away and is like a sanctuary. And dancing of course!

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